Up, Up, and Away...

When I first came home with my little baby I was let's just say a little over protective! I was definitely the mother that was like wash your hands, don't talk to loud, are we DOING this right!!!! One of my biggest fears was leaving my baby. I didn't want anyone else to watch her when she was a baby, alright, alright if anyone who knows me reads this they are going to be thinking and probably saying to themselves you STILL DON'T.

But let me tell you that in the last two years I've realized that while it is important for me to spend the most time with my daughter, I am after all the person who she learns from, is nurtured by and receives comfort from. No one else is going to kiss booboo's like momma or know by a certain cry what it is exactly that she wants. But a burnt out momma isn't good for mother or child.

I've learned to not feel guilty for the time that I need to spend away from her, it doesn't mean I don't love her it just means that I am still a person, a women besides MOMMY! When children spend time away from their primary care giver it gives them the chance to
1. Bond with other adults and form relations with them
2. Learn that not only mommy can lay down the law they need to listen to other adults as well
3. Gives them a different perspective on learning how people interact with each other, how things are done.
4. Creates an atmosphere where your child can adapt better to people and changes.

I know that one of my biggest fears of leaving my daughter is that no one is going to take care of her like I do, but I need to realize (yes I said need I'm still working on it) is that just because its different doesn't mean its BAD. A lot of families have support systems that allow them to be free with whom they can leave their child with, they have active grandparents, sisters, cousins or such. But what about when that isn't available.

I know that from my own experience, my parents are not active grandparents because of health condistions that wouldn't allow them to be as active as my two year old is. My sisters, while they are great with my daughter have lives of their own and often are not there to be that consistent babysitter that I need. That's where a nanny or a babysitter whatever you want to call them come in, from personal experience as a babysitter/nanny that the bond I have with the children that I care for is special. I am apart of their lives, they generally are excitied to see me and spend time with me and I cherrish that.

That is why my husband and I have decided to find a babysitter who can be there to help out once in awhile, someone my daughter can have a special relationship with so that I can have a special relationship with myself and my husband.

I should mention that the first time I left my daughter was to go to a friends home for their birthday party and have a couple of drinks afterwards, I cried immidiatly after leaving the house, my sister was the babysitter in this case and I think that I texted her every 10 to 15 minuets to ask that everything was okay! Now when I go out I perhaps maybe text only every half hour....

Lesson learned to challenge myself and allow my daughter to foster relationships that are not with me and my husband... How do other parents do with this?